AMSTERDAM: FOR THE ONES WE MISS

BY DAVID OLE

He lay awake in the peak of the night

Thinking about sweet Amsterdam

Imprisoned by his loneliness

saddened by her absence

Beethoven fills the air,

Deeper he sinks, wishing she was near

And then he whispered words, sweet words

“I can’t wait to be with you, my dear”

For Amsterdam was far away

A winter fling, a midnight sting

The Beautiful scenery, the Muziektheater

Cocoa butter laced skin to escape the cool winter breeze

Oh Amsterdam, I pray for you

Stay awake

I’ll be there

For in this moment,

I am near.

'IYA TEMI' - My Mother

By Shalewa Ashimi

Can words describe her? Can letters paint her? Can life be without her? ‘Iya’

A nursery rhyme says it all; who sat and washed my infant head, when sleeping on my cradle bed and tears of sweet affection shed; my mother. That song played a certain tune in my mind as I watched her hold her baby. Hmmm!

Thoughts flowed through my heart and my mind. I realized that she had a certain look, a maturity, a responsible yet loving adoration for the tiny life she held in her hand. He was so small and today they called him a name- a name that father, mother, grandfather and grandmother must have put so much thought, time and suddenly a craft in, words that seemed to hold their hopes, love and dreams –Oluwatimilehin, Anjolaoluwa, Abubakar.

Where does a mother’s love start? Is it from the 'Yes, I am pregnant' or 'Finally, he is in the world'? She feeds for two, lives and sleeps for two, she can’t be selfish, for a life depends on her. She looked at Timi, and I could see my mother looking at me. She had a will in her eyes saying “I promise you, I will take care of you, you won’t be hungry, you won’t beg for food, clothing or shelter. Though we live in a third world, your life will be a first class. I will do anything or almost anything to make your life better than mine’. 

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Here we go again..

By Lolu. R

I woke up at 2am to the sound of my phone, and I was really mad because it took me a while to find that sleep. Anyway the caller happened to be my very good friend, so I picked up the phone and tried not to scream at her for depriving me of good sleep. I asked politely if the reason for this distress call was as regards a kidnap or a robbery or anything that will justify being robbed of sleep, but it so happens that she only called to inquire of the name of a contraceptive she could use-for the umpteenth time against my warnings, my silly friend had unprotected sex and this time she wasn’t sure if it was ‘safe’.

 I let out a long sigh, (still working on not screaming her off the phone) and slowly explained to her-like I have plenty times- that she was being foolish by not using protection. I mean if one must fornicate, at least fornicate with sense. It’s bad enough that its sin, but willingly risking terrible infections and death for that sin…I dunno, it baffles me. So anyways after giving her advice, I told her the name of the drug- because I had no intention of coming for an extremely early naming ceremony (my friend isn't 20 yet, so babies are not an option).

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5 ways Facebook has changed our lives.

By Bellanchi

It’s now more than six years since Mark Zuckerberg invented Facebook or pilfered the idea, depending on whose version of the story you choose to believe. Whether invented or stolen, Facebook is a brilliant idea (Zuckerberg’s estimated $6.9 billion worth is surely more than enough proof of that). With more than 500 million active users, Facebook has become not just an integral part of our everyday lives, but an indelible element of modern culture. Here are five ways I think Facebook has changed our lives, which you may not have realised:

Exhibitionism

Facebook is the showman’s delight. How else do you explain how a girl hangs out with Banky W at the VIP lounge of Tribeca on Friday night and uploads 77 pictures from the night by 9am the following morning when, considering she had such a blast, she ordinarily should still be reeling from a hangover? She simply wants to show off, that’s why!

With Facebook, you can flaunt (free of charge) anything and everything ranging from the sublime - pictures of holidays with your boo at an exotic tourist destination or you teeing off on a golf course – to the ridiculous pictures of your customised licence plates or you posing inside a London bus. In case you think uploading pictures is the only means of exhibitionism available on FB, think twice! What about a status update thanking “my baby for giving me the best birthday present ever”? Isn’t that, if we are to be truthful to ourselves, sheer gloating?

The bottom line is that we all love to show off the (few) things we have in life, be it a fine babe, a nice car, Jimmy Choos, a tastefully furnished pad, curvy hips, celebrity friends, or a British Passport. And since the advent of Facebook, self-advertisement has never been easier or cheaper.

 You may not believe this, but I know one or two fellas who consider the number of friends they have on Facebook a measure of their popularity or success. Now how about that!

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Some Annoying Nigerian Cliches

By Bellanchi

Clichés, by their very nature, are annoying. Add that to the Nigerian penchant for overdoing things, and you have a problem. A few examples: Dan Foster and his American accent hit the airwaves, and presto, every radio presenter is speaking fone. Think about the thousands of “pure water” factories that have sprung up since DIL or the number of reality shows we’ve had since the first edition of Gulder Ultimate Search. Now that you get the picture, imagine a cliché being “Nigerian”. That, surely, would be doubly annoying. Here are some Nigerian clichés that frankly drive me crazy:

 'It is the will of God'

It is perhaps fitting that in a country as religious as ours, the first cliché on the list should be one that has to do with God.

In this part of the world, we attribute every man-made disaster to God. The brakes of a petrol tanker fail (due to consistent lack of maintenance) leading to an accident in which several people are burnt to death – it’s the will of God; ten NYSC members are murdered in cold blood by a insane mob & the Bauchi State Governor says it was their destiny to die; a major market is razed to ashes by a midnight inferno, everyone calls it the will of God, regardless that a prompt response by an efficient fire service would have meant only a few stalls getting burnt.

Our predisposition to fatalism seems to be a lazy way of passing the buck; seeking to shift responsibility for our own failings to a supernatural force. But why blame God for our own cock ups? So is it mere laziness or insidious deceptiveness? You decide. What I know for sure is what we call the will of God, more often than not, is really the foolishness of man.

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Water: Its quantities, Its wonders

By Steve Austin

The great benefits of water cannot be over emphasized. From being a universal solvent, to aiding digestion and being an essential necessity in our beauty regime- the mystery of this God-given resource is mind blowing.

For all you ladies, the portion for losing that excess body fat is all around you. You've heard this over and over again, and it's true. Water will do wonders for your looks! It flushes out impurities in your skin, leaving you with a clear, glowing complexion. It also makes your skin look younger. Skin that is becoming saggy, either due to aging or weight loss, plumps up very nicely when the skin cells are hydrated.

In addition, it improves muscle tone. Muscles that have all the water they need contract more easily, making your workout more effective, and you'll look much nicer than if you had flabby muscles under sagging skin.

"Eight glasses a day? Are you kidding?" It's really not that much. Eight 8-ounce glasses amount to about two quarts of water. This is okay for the average person, but if you're overweight, you should drink another eight ounces for every 25 pounds of excess weight you carry.  Considering our vey hot climate, you should also up this.

This water consumption should be spread out throughout the day. It's not healthy at all to drink too much water at one time. Try to pick three or four times a day when you can have a big glass of water, and then sip in between. Don't let yourself get thirsty. If you feel thirsty, you're already becoming dehydrated. Drink when you're not thirsty yet.

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